ganpati
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3. UNDERSTANDING NATURAL MASCULINITY
"To me the definition of true masculinity - and femininity, too - is being able to lay in your own skin comfortably" ~ Vincent D'Onofrio
What is masculine behaviour and what is feminine behaviour? "So what is masculinity, anyway ----- a hairy chest and the ability to change the oil in your car yourself?" ~ John Ballew Can we become more masculine than we are by smoking cigarettes? Or chasing girls? Or sporting a moustache? Will dancing make us feminine? Will donning an earring make us feminine? Or cooking food? The answer is simple. Masculinity and femininity are inside us. Activities and objects are not in themselves masculine or feminine. It is the person doing that act that makes it masculine or feminine. When a masculine man dances, he makes the dance appear masculine. A feminine man can smoke all the cigarettes that he wants, or run after girls, his femininity will always show. Cigarettes, girls, etc. are artificially ascribed as 'masculine' by our society, and doing these things only give us the illusion of being masculine. In a society which does not recognise our biological masculinity, but insists on proofs of social manhood, doing these things are the easiest way of proving that we are indeed men. A boy, when he smokes, is actually telling the world that he is masculine and should be treated as such. Smoking is just a symbol approved by the society as masculine. We desperately want society to accept us as 'men', and do these acts to show the 'proofs' demanded by the society. We also do these acts because this is our way of relating with other men, because we believe they all want to do the same thing. This 'relating' makes us feel masculine. This has to do with the 'herding' or bonding instincts of men. In a society where men are broken from other men, this may be the only way to relate with each other. However, this is not a 'real' way of relating with other men, only symbolic. Our society is taking away more and more opportunities from boys to really relate with other boys, leaving them no option but to resort to these symbolic activities. A man who is confident of his masculinity, however, does not depend on these social symbols to appear masculine. He knows that anything that he does will have his stamp of masculinity. He will use lipstick and still appear masculine. He will even carry off a little femininity with masculine pride. Now let us examine the most essential requirements set by society for granting manhood and see if these are really masculine acts: we are talking about sex 'power'. Men exaggerate sexual interest in women several fold while suppressing their sexual need for men in order to establish their sex power. Sexual interest in women is considered a masculine quality, while a sexual interest in men ----- more so a romantic interest ----- is propagated as unmanly.
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